MLC: So They've Been Asking You To Come To Lagos

Playing: Caribbean Medley by Donnie McClurkin

...And when the Priest of States came to Lagos, during the blessing, he said,
'Lagos will be dope. Hustle channels will be many. Many will succeed here. Your play after your hustle will be on point. Your grooving will be envied. Business? You will do small business and get big money. All these and much more. BUT. You will be having traffic anyhow. You will have to wake up by 4.30 to get to a place by 7. You're nobody's friend. Conductors and agberos will feel entitled to your money. The price of things will be high.. all these and more..'

So they've been asking you to come to Lagos, well, here's my advice;
Don't! It's a trap! Run!😂



I'm not even joking. Like my mentor once said, '..Lagos is for mad people', but, on a personal note, I'm of the opinion that if you can survive in LAGOS, you can survive anywhere else. This place be your training ground.

Even though I've been living in Lagos my whole life, I never really went out of my area until I gained admission into the University of Lagos last year. Mehn! You gats be sharp. So I'll be sharing some tips as to how you should be running your parole in Lagos, especially when you're going out. This is not the end of Lagos Chronicles though, because, trust me, Lagos is a stage; there's always drama. Always. When you're going somewhere, just bring out your phone and get ready to get any drama on video😂

P.S The tips shared here are majorly for those who intend going out in Lagos. Don't worry, this is not the end✌
So let's go..



When you're going out in Lagos,
1. First of all, you have to remember where you are. Have you ever heard the saying, 'Lagos is not for the weak'? They're not lying! Remember that you're in Lagos, then tell yourself, 'na Lagos I dey. I no fit afford to dey stupid. If dem do anyhow, I go do anyhow follow'. So help you God😂

2. When you have to get to a place, I don't even care what time you have to get there. Get this, WAKE UP EARLY! Wake up and get ready. My red cap crush, Debola Lagos, shared something once on an instagram post. He said, 'always set out at dawn...' For whatever you're going for. Even if you get there earlier than others, it's an opportunity to be friends with the security men and all. Believe it or not, anywhere you go, power starts from the gate😁
So, talk to those you meet there. Gist. And the next time you go there, you won't even have to introduce yourself.
Another advantage of leaving early is, TRAFFIC obviously 😣 The traffic in LAGOS is spiritual. You could be at the back of the lane in your danfo/uber/personal car and when you get to the front, you realise there's nothing there to actually cause traffic. We're early birds.
Lagos is known for traffic o. So you gats be on top of your game.. Also because you call shotgun, you want to sit beside the driver.✌



3. Always carry your change. Place your hand on your chest and say, 'I will always carry my change'. In fifties, in hundreds. Please o. Don't let one conductor use you as scape goat😅
You have to carry your change so that,
A. You don't receive insults from the conductor 😣 you'll be surprised that they'll use something you didn't even know about yourself to insult you. Please don't let a frustrated conductor curse you early in the morning.

B. So you don't have to be shouting throughout your journey, 'conductor, change 150 o!' Guy will look at you like he didn't ask you to hold your change before entering 😑



C. Just so you can have peace of mind.

4. Peradventure, you just went to the ATM that morning and there's no way you could have gotten change, before you enter the bus, you,

A. Make it very clear to the conductor that you don't have change and ask if they do. Ask o.

B. If the conductor says he has, after you enter, greet and talk to the person beside you. Then ask if they have change. They may have change. Please don't be an island inside a danfo bus.

C. Lagos Danfo bus conductors are mad people. Very mad. The conductor who was sweet talking you into entering his bus could become a beast when y'all start moving. Sometimes, he'll not want to give you your change and start turnioniown. See, you will be turnionyourown with them o. Because they can ride you and take you for granted then take your balance with them. Do not allow it.



D. If when you were entering the bus, baba collected money and said he'll give you your change as you move, please sit close to the door so you can be tapping him to remind him of your change. Don't be played. Do not forget your change.
A friend of mine said even though he sits at the extreme end, he'll still get his change😂 But that's because Ebube is already a mad boy and you are not. Yet.



5. Lagosians are thirsty, hungry and angry people. Everyone is in a hurry. So please, mind your business. The only person you should talk to is someone who might have change and after the change transaction, go back to minding your business.
A friend of mine who serves in Delta state said he found it weird that people always greet people everywhere he goes. Even the napep guy will greet you. Why? Because in Lagos, everybody is angry and minding their business 😂😂

6. If you're going somewhere for the first time and aren't sure about your way there, drag your ear right now, aşk questions. Ask questions. My friend Adetolani once told me, 'you won't get lost if you ask questions..' and it's true. Asking questions is important, but asking the right people those questions is a lot more important. Don't ask a passenger like you, it might be their first time in LAGOS too. Ask the conductor or talk to the driver before even entering at all.
However, you can also use your Google Map or go to your Google Chrome and type in www.lara.ng
These help. Don't get lost in LAGOS o
I remember one time I had a shoot at Oriental Hotel, and the place I was going was just the next bus stop, then I made the mistake of asking a passenger like me where the Hotel is. Mama clicked her tongue and directed me to two bus stops away. My horror when a nice gate man told me I had passed there already 😭
Never ask a passenger questions. Unless it has to do with having change, of course.



7. Always hold enough money! The bus fare that was two hundred naira in the morning may have skyrocketed by five hundred naira in the evening. Don't go and be a dullard o.
Sometimes, they do it because the traffic won't allow them go on as many trips as possible so their money can be complete. Sometimes, its just because they can. You can't even negotiate because at that time, there's a whole lot people who are willing to enter like that. Last last, the conductor will tell you to go and enter Uber😂
Use your head.

8. If you're going home during the rush hour, ( Rush Hour is that time when people close from their offices and shops and just want to go home), and there's someone in the office you can tag along with, please ask them to give you a lift. It won't remove anything from your body. You'll even save money. Don't do too much shakara in LAGOS o😂😂

9. When you're in a danfo, unless you're fasting, please buy your drink and gala. So you don't start staring at other people drinking chilled Pepsi 😛
Get yours.



10. One of these days, you will be stuck in traffic,😂 so it's advisable to take a book with you or your earpiece, so you can listen to something while minding your business... take something that'll make your time in traffic productive.



11. If you're somewhere, particularly in a crowded place, like the market and someone touches you, and when you look back, you don't know the person or you don't see the person who touched you, please,

A. Look around you, are you still in the same environment?

B. Are your belongings still intact? Your phone?

C. Are all your body parts still there?😂
I'm not joking o! Check very well.

I always carry my bag facing the front though and say, 'Blood of Jesus' when someone touches me somehow 😁



12. If you'll be driving your personal car, have your documents complete and obey traffic rules. If not, some policemen will use you to eat afternoon food. Have them complete ♡

13. God always comes through. I can't even count the number of times the guy has come through for me when I refuse to follow my own tips😂
I mean, I've been stranded and God sent someone to complete my t.fare and even buy me food. Without saying the condition that I was.
So always involve God.
Even if your conductor is doing anyhow, God will put him in check.



I hope you're still interested in coming to Lagos? Please be. Now you have proper info and LAGOS is a beautiful city please.


Buy something when you're coming and call me so I can take you to places to relax 😁😛
Have a productive week ahead and welcome to February! 💜💃

🔌💡👑
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DO YOU LIVE IN LAGOS?

WHAT IS YOUR MOST MEMORABLE EXPERIENCE?

HAVE YOU BEEN THINKING OF COMING TO LAGOS?

WHY HAVE YOU BEEN STALLING?

WHAT HAVE YOU HEARD ABOUT LAGOS?