30 01 18

Playing: I want to see Jesus ( It's a hymn and has different versions)

Funny that the song is kind of contrary to this post😂
Not everytime article or story, let's do a little spoken word. Then I captioned it the date I wrote it because I couldn't come up with a title.
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It sure is getting hotter in here
Not like it was warm when I first landed
The thoughts of what could have been haunted me
Even here. I mean, fire served on a golden platter of regret wasn't palatable.

At half past ten, I watched my body on the kitchen floor, and then realised what I had done
Taking my own life was just the beginning of the horrors I was to face and as I
Journeyed through the clouds or maybe the heavens, I didn't read my Bible to the extent of knowing what it is called

Seeing something that shone like what I could recognise or what I thought I did
My eyes were to darkened to look upon what was before me
Because,
Chi,
It was spotless
Then it clicked
The bright and morning star and I gasp

It's Jesus. It is Jesus.!
But, ah, why can't I see him? I thought to myself.

"Uhm, maybe because you're not as holy as you thought you were.." he responded.

"Oh, he can read my mind."

"Yes. I made it. But unfortunately for you, I don't run it."

And at this point, I had to stop speaking in my mind and voice out my,

"You don't run it? What do you mean you don't run it? I had you on my mind all the time, singing psalms. Of course you run my mind."

"Singing.... psalms? What about those times you were singing jams? I think you're forgetting, that every second counts before me, this isn't politics."

"I do remember asking for mercy after each time I fell Lord. I did ask you to wash me with your blood. They were just normal hip hop songs, don't use this against me..."

"Against you? Oh I did more work than this for you to have a short term memory. Let me bring to your reminder that you cannot continue to sin and expect Grace to abound. You ran out of gas long ago, you've been riding on fumes.. That girl who's behind is a killer definitely killed you"

"Uhm🙁 fumes? You mean those times I broke down and up to this point your grace had left me? I thought you loved me!"



"I did, but you didn't love me back. You let your love for me be determined by the shapes and sizes of your circumstances. That's not what I wanted.."

"İ was broken Lord. By so many things that YOU allowed. The pain, the unanswered prayers, the family you put me into. There was no way I could stay focused all the time!"

"But while I loved you, I stayed focused on you. Even while you sinned and rubbed in my face unnatural sexual acts and desires, I was faithful to you. You forgot that the world breaks you and crushes you but I can break you and make you. You forgot all about us. You forgot to depend on me.."

"It didn't feel like you were around...."

"I am not a feeling. And I promised not to leave nor forsake you. Let me guess, you forgot about that too. You were looking for physical things that never satisfy, orgasms that left you worthless and filthy things to hold onto. I am not any of that..."

"You should have called my attention"

"Oh I did. You just never looked in the right direction. I gave you a family in my church and you went out looking for foes. And they killed you. I gave you a brilliant mind but you always thought the things that came out of it were not good enough. I gave you materials to start your purpose with but you always worried about tomorrow's supply. You forgot a lot of things. Me being your supplier is one of them."

"I'm sorry Lord, I didn't know. Have mercy on me.."

"Too late. It is appointed unto man to die once, judgement is after. Please leave so I don't keep ranting about all the things you did to flush my efforts in the toilet."

"What do you mean leave? I can't leave. Please. Let me stay. I want to to see your face and eat your barbecued fish. Please..."

"Well, dogs sure don't eat meat meant for the children. And I mean it this time, don't you dare give any scriptural clapback, this isn't Nigerian twitter"

Partially blinded by my tears, I see the light receding, then I see someone walking towards me... very beautiful. Maybe he could beg for me...

"Please, please help me talk to the Saviour..."

Then suddenly, his countenance isn't friendly as the shadow that hovers over me is larger than the body I see.. could this be..?

'Don't ask me for anything.... İ am not the Lord...'

No joy there😪

'Who are you? How are you so beautiful?'

'Oh, I'm Satan. Lúcifer. Anyone you prefer really...'



This is getting real.
Then I see another..

'What about you? Mary? Aren't you his mother?'

'I really cannot do anything. I am only one of many witnesses. I do not operate in the jury..'

As I try to block the thoughts of what's to come, I hear the soothing voice of Lúcifer, or maybe I wanted it to sound soothing,

'You have to come with me... uh, you know I can't be in two places at once..'

As I resigned to the fate of my eternity, I mumble again,

"It sure is getting hotter in here..."

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So remember, your life is a loan, and one day, you'll give an account.
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DO YOU THINK SATAN STILL HAS WINGS?